I'm devastated,  I thought I've come in terms with all this but it seems I have emotions still clinging,  attached to this, to her. 

Nostalgic in a sense,  this is a plea from my existence,  acknowledgement that I am here,  that I am alive living my life half waiting, half trying.  Living but dead at the same time.  I can't stand it anymore.  I devoted myself so I could become better,  because I knew it was possible,  just a lot of hard work and dedication was all it took.  But if only it were that easy.

Every day,  I face my fears.  Every day I get less scared.  Every day I wish you were here. I made a mistake,  you were too great, I felt miserable for being incapable of making you happy.   But days have gone by,  months have become years and all I have are these words,  spelled out like destiny, like I have no free will I give you my plea;

Please...  Come back to me.