November 18, 2009
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Will Not Give Up
It annoys me that I can't find the perfect words to describe you, the ones I can think of are all cliche and over used. The simplest has been deformed by those who use it as a means to get what they want. But me, no, not I. I rather describe how you make me feel...
When you hug me, it brings meaning back into my life. I squeeze you just a little tighter so I hope you notice that I care...
When I see you come closer, my heart either skips a beat, or decides to do a marathon which literally leaves me breathless...
When you compliment me... it motivates me to do better, to do more, to learn more so you can notice me just a little bit more.
I try my best to keep a smile on my face when you talk about all the boys you like... I'll even help you out if that means I get to spend some time with you...
And that time I hurt you... I wanted to kill myself... I wanted to warp back in time, slay myself terminator style, and save you from the hurt I caused you... but I can't. So I've accepted what happened and I want you to let me make it up to you some how...
But when you tell me that you might be going away, I feel like there's a fuse attached to my heart now... it's been lit and it has a time limit before it's going to explode.
I've fooled myself for so long... about a year now, and I've learned that regret is a worse feeling to harbor than going for what I feel and feeling content in myself for trying no matter what the outcome is.
I've been a damn wuss and I'm actually quite sick of it. I know I can do great when I want to, and right now is the time.
So I'm gonna play the cards that were dealt to me, and call "all in", so I can give you my all... because in this moment... I feel ready.
Comments (2)
Woo hoo! Sing me a serenade!
This was very well written, and very relate-able!
if there's still a chance, then take it. some things are meant for us to pursue after... they won't wait on us forever. you can't wait forever either... cuz how do you know when the waiting is over?
better off or empty handed... you never know until you try. and in that moment, as long as you felt it was worth it, it then it was. at least you know that given the circumstances, you did all you could.
but i guess the title says it all. i've encountered numerous people who have given up without ever trying. they were probably left wondering with a bunch of "what if"s in their head.
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